There are many reasons for not showing up

Trying an adventure like Paddock can be very vulnerable especially when you don't know anyone. You aren't sure what it's all about and it's an investment in yourself, time and money. 

And it can also be super enriching to meet new faces. To be open to something new and different (hello, I can't be the only one who gets bored with routines!) as well as serve as an opportunity to show yourself some compassion. 

What is Paddock? 

It is a one-day-workshop using Equine Therapy as a framework to support Mom’s at all stages, (including those wanting to be Moms but experiencing fertility struggles and those who's children have left the nest). Click link to read more.


In case you are interested in attending the Paddock workshop or thinking of doing something new but you're not sure, here are a few external and internal blocks to address:

1. LOGISTICS

There is always something to sort out whether it's childcare, rides, house chores and family schedules. What needs to happen in order for you to go? Who can you ask for help from? What is your priority?

FYI: The all day workshop is happening on Saturday, April 22— the weather *should* be warmer! And we've added a Friday workshop for those who prefer a weekday in June .  This is a great exercise in letting go of having to do it all and receiving some help to run the ship while you're away for the day taking care of your self! 

2. MONEY

A few years ago when I saw a two day equine therapy workshop being for $500, I knew I wanted to go but money was tight for us (cancer treatments, maternity leave and disability can add much financial strain but that's a whole other topic— stay tuned for a blog post about simplicity + money, we had a great thread going in the Facebook group). That very day, my mom phoned to say "since I just sold the house, this year I want to give you $500 for your birthday!" The money went towards paying for the workshop (even though we could have used it for other things because it was important for me to work through some stuff and I was intrigued)!  

And when it is a matter of not having "enough" money, instead of saying "we don't have the money", it's much more empowering to say  "this is not a priority right now" or "my priority is XYZ". 

3. IT FEELS SELFISH

I used to struggle with feelings of being selfish when I took some time for myself or spent money on myself. But after burning out four years ago, I realized I needed to up the ante. Ask for (more) help. Say no. Acknowledge what is. Sleep. Do what I had to do, to prioritize me so I could be healthy and well. 

It's not selfish, to prioritize you. It's necessary. Sometimes, the constructs and circumstances of our lives make it feel impossible but certainly, it is possible. 

4. RECEIVING SUPPORT

Trust me, I've cried many tears about how much support (whether practical, emotional, mental, spiritual), I've needed. Asking for support or admitting you can't do it all, shows strength, not failure. 

Sometimes we are the givers, sometimes we are the receivers. AND sometimes, if not always, it is both. 

Let yourself receive and if you feel called and you are available, give yourself this transformational experience! 

How to create space for your desires

I'm not sure you know, but last year my family and I fulfilled a dream of traveling to Bali for four months. And it wasn't that it was easy for us to make it happen. It was easier once we committed. Of course.  But we had to travel with $60k worth of cancer medication that had to be kept cold and the girls were 3 and 5 when we went! I also had to work through the thoughts, feelings and beliefs that could have held us back. Like the fear of losing my husband after we fulfilled our dream— because it felt like maybe this symbolized our last trip together (and I didn't want that). 

Three things that helped me in that 18 month lead up time to actually going were:

1. Simplifying. Our stuff. And knowing what mattered to us and why.

2. Equine therapy. Being in a group and with the horses allowed be me release some emotions around the fear that I carried and I was then able to connect to my inner knowing and awareness that things were going to be ok. I'm glad that I was able to move into a place of trust rather than being ruled by fear. Our trip was that much better because of it.

3. Like minded people.
Finding and surrounding myself with other women who can simply be who they are, not judge and are truly genuine with their intentions is also key for navigating life and dreams. It's nice to know you're not alone and to receive encouragement when needed. 

I believe in the power of shining a light on the dark areas in order to grow and expand and live a more grounded and calmer life— no matter what is going on. 

And so there are two things that I have to offer for spring.

1. Reiki sessions in Toronto are 50% off in April. 
I'm super excited and loving The Chi Junky Studio in Leslieville. Have you ever had Reiki? You can schedule a time here.  Wednesday evenings and Thursday daytime. 

2. Paddock for Moms— a one day workshop   
This is a day for you. In an intimate group. In nature. With horses and yummy food. I can't express how nurturing this is. If you can swing it, I'd highly recommend it. Saturday, April 22 9:30am-4:30pm. There may be one day offered in September as well. Read more here. 

*If you have coverage for occupational therapy, you can be reimbursed as we are focusing on self-care, coping and life skills, relaxation and stress management ;)

Motherhood Quotes

Here are some quotes that resonate for me, perhaps they will for you too.

"It is not what I do as a mother, but who I am as a human being that will make a deep and lasting impression on my children. I can only bring peace to my children when I possess it myself."
—Katrina Kenison

 

"Children are not a distraction from important work. They are the most important work". —CS Lewis

"Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting". —Brene Brown

This doesn't mean to imply you are responsible for your children's happiness and all of their behaviour. No way. It means that you are responsible for you. And who you are and how you respond does matter. They are watching. They are modelling.

no one is perfect

If that leaves you feeling bad, give yourself some compassion and forgiveness and know that you can create change. Progress not perfection. 

This is where the power lies. There are no quick fixes and band aid solutions. A reality we come to realize, sooner or later, that the only thing we can control is ourselves.

So what can you do now?

Take deep breaths, be kind to yourself, talk to a trusted friend or someone like me (wink wink), read books and/or go on a retreat (wink again)!