Week 6: Filtering Out the Adult World


Quite simply

  • Worry is an aspect of parenting, but it shouldn't define parenting
  • Media saturation characterizes our time, but it need not floor our children's childhoods 
  • Children feed off of their parents' emotions
  • Technology has helped to blur the lines between privacy and independence, involved and overinvolved 
  • The more you say, the less you are listening  (verbal clutter)
  • One way to 'talk less' is not to involve children in adult topics of conversation and concerns
  • Too much information does not 'prepare' a child for a complicated world; it paralyzes them. Children need to know they have a place in a good world and a future of promise
 
Silence is important. 

Silence is important. 

 

 

True, kind, necessary

Our words have tremendous power to inspire or wound. Use them wisely. The way we talk to our children and what we say around them helps shape how they see the world and themselves.

Before you say something, ask yourself these three questions: 

Is it true? Gossip and hearsay will fail the first filter.
Is it kind? Test of compassion. Some things that are true do not need to be said, if doing so would be hurtful. Bullying.
Is it necessary? Think of this as the verbal 'clutter' filter. Is this more important than silence? 

 


what kind of parent am i?

 

Extreme parenting styles

Tight                   Loose
     Strict                  Permissive
Present               Absent
  Anxious              Careless

 

Stereotypes

Helicopter
Buddy-buddy
Clown
Cheer leader
Police
Sportcaster
Perfect
Scientist

Light & Shadow for each. Not one is right or wrong. How do I see myself and my co-parent? Are there changes I'd like to make in the way I parent? 


What is right relationship with media?

Let's reflect on your family exposure to screens and technology. There's no shame here, simply looking to see if there's any dissatisfaction. 

Screens and technology includes anything that makes noise and has an OFF switch: Tv's, computers, laptops, iPads, cellphones, Wii, stereo, radios, CD players, video games.

  1. Reflect on your daily and weekly plugged-in schedule. Would you like to make an "unplugged" time for connection. 
  2. What are some other things you'd prefer to be doing with your family that would give opportunity for ease, enjoyment, connection, "we feeling"? 

change process

  1. IDENTIFY dissastifaction
  2. IMAGINE things better
  3. DESIGN a small doable chnage
  4. CELEBRATE all plans, agreements and change however small

imagine...

SummerCompassionResponse.jpg
  • Feeling calmer, safer and less anxious as a parent
  • Maintaining  your emotional well-being as a goal and taking steps to reduce your exposure to media that profit from sensationalism and fear
  • Building a 'base camp' of security, by simplifying now, that will serve your children into adulthood
  • What is said at home becoming more kind, true and necessary 
  • Turning down the insistent noise of popular culture, competition and consumerism at least a few notches in order for you to tune in to your value— what truly defines your family

resources

Books
Glow Kids: How Screen Addiction is Hijacking Our Kids and How To Break the Trance by Nicholas Kardaras
The Tech-Wise Family by Andy Crouch

Group call  Video

Audio

Filtering with Kim John Payne Audio
 

 

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