Week three


Quite simply

  • Increasing the rhythm of your home life is one of the most powerful ways of simplifying your children’s lives.
  • With predictability a child can relax, knowing what to expect.
  • Rhythms establish a foundation for cooperation and connection.
  • Relationship is often built in the intervals, when nothing much is going on.
  • Activity without downtime is ultimately unsustainable.
  • Boredom is often the precursor to creativity. 



an ordinary moment can be quite magical



roadblocks to slowing down

  1. Guilt
  2. Societal pressures
  3. Race against naptime
  4. Holding onto pre-parent life
  5. Homework
  6. Desire to give kids opportunities 
  7. Other people not understanding 


childhood golden moment 

Recall a time when you or your child(ren) were in unscheduled time. 

Where were rituals that you had growing up— think on weekend, different seasons and celebrations?




the power of story

Stories affect the way children learn to narrate their lives, and influence the stories they will tell themselves. 

Why is story telling so important?

  • Stories help children understand their place in the world
  • A story can help your child cope with a difficult situation or experience
  • Learning to tell stories helps your child become socially proficient
  • Storytelling can be the perfect way to impart a life lesson
  • It has been shown that telling stories about your own childhood is one of the most powerful ways to strengthen the child-parent bond. 

Key points when telling a story:

  1. Main character has a special quality or difficulty. 
  2. Some kind of movement: a journey, a change
  3. An overcoming with help of an encounter, allies
  4. An ending: happy, comic, a resolution 

change process

  1. IDENTIFY dissastifaction
  2. IMAGINE things better
  3. DESIGN a small doable chnage
  4. CELEBRATE all plans, agreements and change however small

timeline of our schedules and establishing rhtyhm

  • Look at your schedules and find a couple of places for change. No criticizing or judgment here, simply notice on a daily basis and weekly, where there is calm and activity. Do you need more or less of one thing?
  • Choose one activity that needs to be made more consistent. Transitions like getting out the door, family dinner, bedtime. Sunday night. 


Introducing more rhythm may take parental resolve and persistence...

and will be rewarded by more confidence, calm and connection.



imagine your child's days and weeks...

  • Difficult transitions being smoothed by reliable patterns.
  • The security your children will feel having a mental picture of how their day will proceed.
  • What your child could do with the occasional gift of boredom
  • Appreciating that genuine interests and abilities take time to form and those not pushed or hurried are more likely to become life-long pleasures
  • What a lifelong gift you give by gently insisting on and modelling, the importance of down-time and balance in daily life




Article: Simplifying Childhood May Protect Against Mental Health Issues

Audio from Kim John Payne on Schedules

Audio on Rituals and Rhythms.

Group call replay