In this six minute video, I share an example from our epic morning and a few things you can do to bounce back from a less than desirable moment. Of course, with the foundational belief that at any given moment, we are all doing the best that we can with the amount of stress, support and sleep available to us.
When things are intense, I often judge and call my daughter names—mostly in my head and once in awhile, something slips. And of course, I am not happy with losing it on my daughter, mostly because I want her to know that her sensitivity is a gift rather than a fault. And yet it triggers me oh so much!
So I imagine like you, I'm consciously shifting patterns and habits, so that I can be there for my daughters, the way I like for people to be there for me when I'm at my worst. With some inner work, I now get triggered less and can bounce back quicker. What does this do? It maintains the connection and trust between me and the other person, despite the intensity of the previous moment. So there's hope and progress. One step forward, two steps back.
What does it mean for us when we aren't calm and collected and lose our shit?
Initially we may believe we are 'bad mothers'. I know I used to judge myself and feel so much shame. I only admitted my secrets to my husband; now I feel more comfortable sharing with others because I don't believe in 'bad mothers'. Simply tired, unskilled, imperfect moms. That's not wrong. It's part of the experience. We will be tired. We will make mistakes. We will develop skills. You can join our free and beautiful space of strong, smart and conscious mothers in the Gray Mothering Collective. I could tell you some stories too perhaps if we ever talk 1:1. Either way, don't do this alone. It's better together.
It is possible to judge less and take it as an opportunity to learn and understand what is going on. At each stage and age, we are going to be triggered and grow. I'm not sure we have much choice.
If anything I've said resonates, than let me know in the comments below. I would love to hear your thoughts.