Here are some quotes that resonate for me, perhaps they will for you too.
"It is not what I do as a mother, but who I am as a human being that will make a deep and lasting impression on my children. I can only bring peace to my children when I possess it myself."
"Children are not a distraction from important work. They are the most important work". —CS Lewis
"Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting". —Brene Brown
This doesn't mean to imply you are responsible for your children's happiness and all of their behaviour. No way. It means that you are responsible for you. And who you are and how you respond does matter. They are watching. They are modelling.
no one is perfect
If that leaves you feeling bad, give yourself some compassion and forgiveness and know that you can create change. Progress not perfection.
This is where the power lies. There are no quick fixes and band aid solutions. A reality we come to realize, sooner or later, that the only thing we can control is ourselves.